Akatsuki Diaries
by AkatsukiRock101
Summary: Each Akatsuki member's diary entries. One-shot work of pure boredom. Please feel free to critisize, and R&R. Thanks. T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. But, you already knew that, didn't you?**

**Entry 1**: Deidara

Dear Diary,

This morning, I woke up to find Tobi going through my things. He claimed that he was making sure that I wasn't a girl. I blew him up. I only wish that he wasn't the main antagonist in this story and that he wasn't protected by the stupid plot shield... anyway, after that, I went online to read the new Naruto chapter, like I do every Saturday. And guess what I saw? I saw that IDIOT sand sibling playing around with SASORI'S BODY! I will admit that it made me jealous... Waitwaitwait, not LIKE THAT! NO WAY! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT I'M GAY! I SHOULD BLOW YOU UP!... No, that would be bad. Then I would have nothing to do. Being dead sucks, I'm not gonna lie. All you do is sit all day... and what's worse, Is that TOBI CAN FRICKING COME AND GO WHENEVER HE WANTS! WHY THE HELL CAN HE TRAVEL TO THIS PLACE AND NOT BE DEAD?! IT ISN'T FAIR!!! Anyways, Tobi, if you're reading this... YOU CAN GO F*** YOURSELF!!

Sincerely,

Deidara

**TOBI WAS HERE AND TOBI IS A GOOD BOY AND NOT MADARA UCHIHA **

**^-^**

**a/n: Ha ha, I am just really bored... I hope you like my works of boredom to come~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Entry 2:** Itachi

Dear Diary,

I am dead. WHAT THE HELL?! I thought I was a main antagonist!? I mean, I'm the ENTIRE reason why my little brother can be all evil and s*** ! I can't believe this... and besides that, I KEEP SEEING MADARA HERE! He keeps doing his stupid innocent act around me! EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS YOU'RE A VILLAN OK! AGH! If I could, I would LOVE to guzzle some bleach right now. Ever since I came here, my eyesight has become way better, but now I get to see MADARA everytime I open my eyes! THERE IS NO POINT! Besides that, now the kyuubi brat is IN LOVE with my brother, and wants to convert Sasuke into a fricking PANSY! Big brother WILL NOT stand for this! And where the hell is that Sakura chick? I thought she LOVED both Sasuke and Naruto?...if there was a god, he would have been yelling "MAKE ME A SAMMICH!" a long time ago...

Sadly,

Itachi Uchiha

**Tobi was here again and is totally not Madara Uchiha ^-^ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Entry 3: **Zetsu

Dear Diary,

We're hungry. We're gonna go eat some bodies that Madara just found. But first we're gonna poke it with a stick... hahaha, stick...

Still hungry,

Zetsu & Zetsu

**Tobi was here and has no idea who this Madara Uchiha is, so stop asking. ^-^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Entry 4: **Kakuzu

Dear Diary,

Making a diary is a waste of my time. Time is money, and money gets you sammiches. Except, I don't eat sammiches, so I just keep the money. But, seeing as when you're dead there isn't any currency, I don't have money either. ...so I have nothing... I can almost say I miss Hidan's b****y complaints. ALMOST. I keeps seeing this guy around though... he looks like an Akatsuki member, but I can't tell. He's starting to freak me out. I suppose I could kill him... yeah, that sounds fun. Well, maybe he has some kind of bounty here. I'm going to go find out.

Yours poorly,

Kakuzu

**Tobi was here and is NOT FREAKY! Maybe Tobi is evil, but not freaky... wait, no, Tobi isn't evil either ^-^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Entry 5: **Nagato

Dear Diary,

I am dead. I was converted into a Jesus- I mean Naruto believer so therefore I had to commit suicide for religion... I miss the game I used to play with Konan. Every time she'd clean up my barf, I would barf again... the look on her face was PRICELESS. I wish she had died too... I mean, instead of following her leader, she LEFT the organization we ran! What kind of a person does that!? Anyway, I at least get updates from Madara every once in a while. I'm probably the only one besides him who knows how he... ah, well, I probably shouldn't say anymore. And Konan, if you're somehow reading this... BLAGH!

Sickly,

Nagato

**Tobi was here and still has no idea who this Madara is anyway... believe IT! ^-^**


	6. Chapter 6

**25 cent candy machine joke belongs to CanadianJutsu on youtube XP **

**Entry 6:** Itachi (again?)

Dear Diary,

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! DANZOU HAS THE SHARINGAN!? YOU CAN'T JUST GET IT FROM A 25 CENT CANDY MACHINE! Oh, I see, he took it... from SHISUI!? THE F***!? He was my BEST FRIEND, up until he umm... died, I guess. But SERIOUSLY!? Sasuke is my brother, therefore is allowed our CLAN'S bloodline. Kakashi is, well... badass, so it's ok. Madara is... a cheater, and refuses to die. But DANZOU!? He's just some old guy who wants to rule the world using emotionless gay people! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! ...now I am sitting down. Anyway, Sasuke, I know you can't hear me but GO STEAL BACK OUR EYES! Like I tried to during our battle, hehe...

Figuratively,

Itachi Uchiha

**Tobi was he-...scared when he read this O.O**


	7. Chapter 7

**Entry 7: **Sasuke

Dear Diary,

I'm too busy to write a diary. There is no point. Besides, I was only in Akatsuki for what? A week? Well, whatever. I have to get back to fighting The sand man- I mean Gaara, that one blonde haired girl who's name I can't remember, the freak who plays with puppets, that one guy with an afro, and the Raikage. I guess I could call Gaara Kazekage... well, whatever. And Karin, seeing as you're probably going to read this, go make me a sammich.

Sasuke

**Tobi was here... after Karin. The sammich was tasty. Except for the... drugs...zzz **

**^-^**


	8. Chapter 8

**Entry 8: **Sasori

Dear Diary,

I have been dead for awhile now. It sucks, I'm not going to lie. All I do is read bad fanfics and wait all week for the new Naruto chapter. I may not have emotions, but right now I am PISSED. Why the hell is MY BODY being used as an attack puppet for that sand brat's amusement? He's nowhere good enough to play with me...ahem that came out a little weird... anyway, at least I get more screen time than Itachi now. Ha ha, sucker...

Akasuna no Sasori

**Tobi was here... even though Tobi has no idea who this person is O.o**

**a/n: If you don't know what Akasuna no Sasori is, then YOU SUCK! XP Just kidding. For those who don't know, it means "Sasori of the Red Sand" in Japanese. Thanks for reading~!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Entry 9: **Kisame

Dear Diary,

Things around the lair have been quiet lately. With Zetsu... um, dead, I think, at least the white part of him anyway... and Tobi gone, it's been pretty boring. The only way I have fun anymore is to go through all of Itachi's old stuff and find weird things. Like this one time, I found a bracelet with DEIDARA'S name on it. I wonder what that was about... anyway, I also found a picture of a really hot lady, which I thought maybe was one of his old girlfriends, but... on the back it was labeled MOM, hehehe... his mom was HOT. Anyway, I get a kick out of thinking what Itachi's face would be like if he caught me... it would suck, but I laugh anyway. I do miss him... not in a gay way or anything... I think. The only memory that comes to mind when I think of him now is... the day he "accidentally" gave me a bowl of SHARKFIN SOUP. And to this day, I still wonder if... that might have been my mom. For REALS.

Boredly yours,

Kisame Hoshigaki

**Tobi was here... and Tobi misses Ita-chan too... even if he knew that Tobi is really Ma- mad. Yeah, Tobi is... mad. As in crazy. Not Madara Uchiha.^-^**

**a/n: During the week I will probably only upload one a day, MAYBE two. But my creativity has been sapped through school, so I will only do three to four on weekends... sometimes Friday.**


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